I took an art class in high school once, and I did certainly make my share of art growing up, but it was not a constant in my life and I did basically no art between when I left high school and when I got laid off from a position at the organization I had wanted to work at after law school in 2016. I graduated from high school in 2006. I know art helped me when I was younger, but I today I am certain I would not be nearly where I am or who I am today without it. My art shows the evolution of my consciousness, the evolution of my being, and, of course, the evolution of my art for its own sake. This page contains my art in roughly chronological order, with snippets of narrative throughout — to serve as your rough guide through this virtual gallery of sorts. And, I hope for a long time yet, there will be more art to come.
I remember choosing to paint this picture. I totally envisioned a glass coke bottle, then used a plastic one as a model, and, well, green plastic it is! Although I am sure I made art between then and 2016. In 2016 I was unemployed for about three months. It was the longest I had nothing going on (no work, no school, no real obligations) since I was probably about 13 or 14. I found some water color paints that I had from I could not even tell you when. I had all the time in the world, so it seemed like a good idea to get them out.
This is a portrait of a good friend of mine’s dog. I wanted to paint her pictures of both her dogs. I have made many dog portraits since. In general this has become something I do sometimes as a gift, but not something that is part of my regular art practice. For that reason I will not be including much of that in this gallery, but I wanted to give a fair presentation of that first year. That, and I never finished this one, which means that I still have it with me. I have found it easier to bring my work to completion as I have had more practice. I still have much work that I consider unfinished in one way or another. I do not mind hanging and sharing these works, for I can always take them down and update them.
Then, I got a job again. I actually went back to the same organization I had been laid off from. I had looked for jobs in between. I had felt all of my sadness, confusion, and anger. I had been on unemployment. I had applied for dozens of positions, ranging from attorney work to writing work to some bar work. Nothing was really drawing my passion, and I was really feeling pretty depressed. I had wanted to work where I was working. It had been my goal from during law school. I felt betrayed, in a sense. I had to move through this in order to go back to work at the organization I had believed in with many people who I trust, respect, and love working with. Well, as it turned out, I had not really moved through all of it. I had only felt the tip of the iceberg, as I was pretty good an numbing out at that point. Pretty good at focusing on the present and having fun too, but pretty good at numbing anything painful.
Well, in sometime in there I rediscovered acrylic paints. I cannot exactly remember how it happened, but I had some in my house. I had brought them with me when I moved from Tucson to Portland, for which I am very thankful. In early times I was quite inspired by a dear friend, and quite encouraged by many. I also began to truly develop my personal healing relationship with painting. During that year I had did a couple of scenes based loosely on local reality, and I started experimenting with the unplanned as well. Emotion started to come through almost by accident. I found painting to be very meditative during this time, and I was just beginning to really get the sense that the painting was moving my emotional energy — transmuting it, letting it flow, helping me to let go.
I had a series of paintings that seemed to be ever better expressions of the emotions that I was feeling and what I was allowing to flow through me in the moments of my painting. I also made my first ever attempt at a self portrait.
I also had another delve into the water color scene when I backpacked into Hell’s Canyon to go visit a dear friend of mine in December, with another dear friend. It was quite the adventure. Of evenings I was consistently the last up, and I took some time to myself each night I was there — often experimenting with my friend’s watercolors, having not brought in any of my own.
And that rounded out 2017. I continued painting in acrylics in 2018 and 2019 and it was during these years that my process for healing through my art, as well as processing emotions, and expressing the inexpressible really took off.
